Instead of studying for my midterms, I'm going to take this moment to provide you with some entertaining, offensive, and overall ridiculous quotes by LBJ. Enjoy.
"Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else."
"Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath."
"Greater love hath no man than to attend the Episcopal Church with his wife." - I appreciate this, because I'm an Episcopalian. Also... so not true.
"I am making a collection of the things my opponents have found me to be and, when this election is over, I am going to open a museum and put them on display."
"I believe the destiny of your generation - and your nation - is a rendezvous with excellence."
"I feel like I just grabbed a big juicy worm with a right sharp hook in the middle of it."
"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it."
"I want to make a policy statement. I am unabashedly in favor of women."
"I'm the only president you've got."
"I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling rejected by the American people. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night worrying about the war." Whiny, isn't he?
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim."
"If the American people don't love me, their descendants will." FALSE
"If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after that he'll rape your wife in your own bed."
"Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store."
"Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time."
"Just like the Alamo, somebody damn well needed to go to their aid. Well, by God, I'm going to Viet Nam's aid!" - the Alamo? Really?
"One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President."
"Our most tragic error may have been our inability to establish a rapport and a confidence with the press and television with the communication media. I don't think the press has understood me." No shit - the credibility gap tended to piss people off.
"Our society is illuminated by the spiritual insights of the Hebrew prophets. America and Israel have a common love of human freedom, and they have a common faith in a democratic way of life."....?!
"The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business."
"The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character."
"There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration."
"There are plenty of recommendations on how to get out of trouble cheaply and fast. Most of them come down to this: Deny your responsibility." Plausible deniability!
"There is but one way for a president to deal with Congress, and that is continuously, incessantly, and without interruption. If it is really going to work, the relationship has got to be almost incestuous."
"They call upon us to supply American boys to do the job that Asian boys should do."
"This administration here and now declares unconditional war on poverty." How'd that go?
"We are not about to send American boys 9 or 10 thousand miles away from home to do what Asian boys ought to be doing for themselves."
"When I was a boy we didn't wake up with Vietnam and have Cyprus for lunch and the Congo for dinner."
"When I was young, poverty was so common that we didn't know it had a name."
"When the burdens of the presidency seem unusually heavy, I always remind myself it could be worse. I could be a mayor."
"When things haven't gone well for you, call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention."
"While you're saving your face, you're losing your ass."
"Whoever won't fight when the President calls him, deserves to be kicked back in his hole and kept there."
"You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy."
These were delightfully provided by the website http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/lyndon_b_johnson.html. I tried to provide the best of the best for you.
Love and Communism,